PLANT LADY WITH A BROWN THUMB
Updated: Jun 7, 2019
How can you appease your inner plant lady when you can't keep a plant alive?
I fell, head over heels, in love with the idea of gardening. There's something so dreamy about taking those teeny tiny seeds from the palm of your hand, pressing them into the soil, and watching something beautiful arise from your labors. When we first moved into our home, we were determined. We put on our weekend warrior hats, picked up our rototiller, and got to work.
We got dirt under our nails. Dirt on our brows. Dirt everywhere. But, by the end of the day, we did it. We planted our garden. The seeds were in, ready to spread their little roots and grow big and strong. We waited, eagerly, full of anticipation.
Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. Nothing. Almost nothing.
That year, we harvested exactly one pepper. Hundreds of seeds planted, dozens of varieties of plants. Nada. Almost nada.
My houseplants fared the same, unfortunate demise. So there it is. I have a brown thumb, and I'm proud. Well, not exactly. The problem is, I love having plants around. They purify the air, make you happy, are great for the environment, and are just doggone pretty.
So the question is: how can you appease your inner plant lady when you're also a plant killer?
1. F A U X S T E M S
Solution número uno. You guessed it. Fake flowers. Faux stems. We've come a long way over the years in faux technology. These aren't your grandma's fake flowers. The faux stems you find nowadays are really beautiful and very elegant. They can spruce up any space, and you don't have to break the bank. Scour your local Hobby Lobby, AC Moore, Michaels, what have you. Don't forget your coupons. Better yet, if you're feeling adventurous, you can try your local thrift shop--Salvation Army, Goodwill, Savers, perhaps. I've purchased whole bouquets of faux stems for as little as $2. And the best part about faux stems? Two words. Maintenance free.
2 . D R I E D S T E M S
I stumbled upon this beautiful phenomenon entirely by accident. I had put a bouquet of flowers in a vase and just totally, whole-heartedly, forgot about it. I know. Brown thumb. But, of all the mistakes I've made, this was one of my favorites. The result was a beautiful bouquet--a bit fragile, but totally intact. The greenery adopted such dreamy, muted hues. *ugh swoon*
To dry your arrangement, you can be lazy like me and forget about them for a while (probably not recommended), hang them upside down to dry, or even press them in the pages of a good book like an old timey movie (which btw, sounds like a super romantic date idea).
As for me, I'll continue to try my hand at gardening and planting. They just bring such warmth and texture into my home. I have managed to keep a few plants alive in the recent years, although they did come back from the brink of death once twice thrice. I can't say I've gotten better at raising plants, but I do manage to kill them more slowly.
And you? Share your inspiring, green thumb tips to help turn this plant killer around! Or tell us your favorite brown thumb failures, flops, total disasters.